All posts by TomWiles

2064 Awesome New Year

2064 Awesome New Year

I discuss trading my Note 9 off at T-Mobile for a Samsung Galaxy Note 20 Ultra 5G. I also talk about the necessity of having something useful to aim at, which almost always entails doing some sort of work for other people.



What is hope? Where does the idea of hope emerge from? Why do human beings need hope? Is hope simply an idea, or a mental state? What is the state of hopefulness? What does it mean to be without hope?

Do ideas and/or ideologies offer hope?

The initial state of self-awareness is empty and meaningless, thus lacking hope. It is up to those who become self-aware to begin a search for meaning. This search initiates with combing through the external environment. Is there meaning to be found in family life? Is there meaning to be revealed in the acquisition of knowledge? Is there meaning to be discovered in the pursuit of pleasurable activities? Can meaning be unearthed via taking up the proper work?

Hope seems to depend on what is valued. What is valued is often unconscious, residing in the individual mind’s subconscious. What is valued is corrupted by the presence of resentment, also often carefully and strategically hidden within the unconscious part of the mind.

What is valued determines whether or not and how vulnerable one is to being possessed by ideas, or ideological possession.

The idea of buying something new, such as a new smartphone, a new car, etc. can seem to offer hope, but the hope is fleeting. The derived “high” once the new thing is acquired quickly dissipates, frequently leaving the buyer in a worse condition than he or she started out in.

The idea of having, as opposed to the actual having, is always more powerful. Looking forward is a far more pleasurable state than is possessing.

There seems to be some missing fundamental element in the initially originating human mental state of self-awareness. That fundamental missing element is a properly realized relationship with our Creator. This fundamental missing value hierarchy can only be realized by a non-resentful mind. The resentful mind has a flawed value hierarchy, in that resentment separates the human mind from the Mind of the Creator.

To the resentful mind, every new idea offers the potential of hope. To the resentful mind, every new idea also offers the possibility of ideological possession, of becoming enslaved to the said idea, thing or concept.

Real hope is actually a spiritual rope. A real spiritual rope can only be grabbed onto by the non-resentful mind. Only the non-resentful mind has a properly structured value hierarchy.

Ideological possession structures offer those possessed an ongoing sense of hope somehow being just around the corner, if only every existent mind were collectivized and forced into the confines of the ideology. The looking forward to hope somehow never materializes into actual hope, but morphs into a living hell.

There is a distinct difference between an actual hopeful state of mind versus simply looking forward to having hope.

Real hope is an unshakable state of mind. Real hope only emerges after a person has given up resentments, past, present and future. Real hope seems to be a paradox. Real hope is the Biblical peace that passes all understanding.

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7

Where Do Utopian Ideas Come From?

Where Do Utopian Ideas Come From?

From who, what, or where does the idea of utopia originate? Is utopia a pathological idea that can never be attained? Does it originate as a result of the fundamentally fallen state of human beings? Is it even reasonable to entertain utopian ideas?

As fallen human beings, something is missing from our sense of being. We must learn to live and interact properly in the world with our fellow human beings. We must learn to be civilized creatures. Becoming a mature human being involves being able to recognize our own existing resentments and give up resenting, along with overcoming the tendency to resent itself.

Resentment as a phenomenon is peculiar to the human mind. I believe resentment is one of the things that sets human beings apart from animals. It can be viewed as both a gift as well as a curse.

Resentment is a gift in that it allows human beings to play god in their own minds because it allows us to find out where the bad choice leads, thus potentially realizing the need to be saved from it. In other words, the ability to resent offers human beings a type of free will, allowing us to voluntarily choose the proper way to both react and interact with the world.

Resentment becomes a curse when we cling to it and consider it to be “normal” human behavior. Pathological resentment is a pathological state of mind. Pathological resentment results in a pathological disconnection from reality, and therefore a pathological embracement of fantasy perceived as reality.

Pathological resentment results in pathological suffering.

The ability to resent gives human beings the choice to voluntarily not resent. Resentment perverts and distorts the human ego, which otherwise reverts to normal in a resentment-free state of being.

In the absence of resentment, it becomes possible to develop a mature, natural, God-given value system. This non-pathological value system results in a non-pathological mode of being that works very well for the resentment-free observer. This non-pathological mode of being is not easy to articulate as a set of written rules, but emerges as ongoing, contemporaneous lived experience. It is impossible to dig at the structure beneath one’s own human mind. That being said, I am certain that the structure is perverted and distorted by the presence of resentment.

Ideas about existence and how existence should properly be executed – i.e. “How to?” and “What is the proper?” emerge in both resentful and non-resentful states of mind.

Ideas emerging in the non-resentful state of mind revolve around the individual person themselves, i.e., “How should I live?”, or “How should I behave?”, etc. The non-resentful person looks within himself or herself for answers to fundaments of proper existence. The non-resentful individual never seeks to impose his or her ideas or axioms on others, but rightfully views such self-implementation as a matter of voluntarily adopted free choice.

The utopian ideas that emerge from the resentful mind are pathological and tend to revolve around the failings of other people rather than the individual himself or herself. Since all human beings are flawed and failing, it is therefore impossible to force or enforce the imagined perfect system.

Utopian ideas that emerge from the resentful mind, if implemented and imposed in a totalitarian societal setting are fundamentally pathological in nature, and always result in a living hell.

Utopian ideas and/or ideologies emerge from and appeal to deeply resentful, pathologized minds. Therefore, utopian ideas are always fundamentally pathological and unworkable in the real world.

Utopian ideas are subsequently always wrong, always arising from a deeply flawed mental state.

Unearned Peace of Mind is No Peace of Mind

In the Disney Pinocchio story, in his original morally immature state, Pinocchio began to take on the characteristics of a Jackass (donkey) as he interacted imperfectly with the world around him. The Pinocchio story perfectly (and on purpose) outlines the trajectory of human beings. Also, his nose grew longer each time he told a lie.

Human beings come into the world innocent, but also ignorant, immature, and with pre-existing mental and emotional characteristics that predispose us to make wrong moral choices. This handicap, combined with the moral imperfections of other people we encounter, causes us to veer away from the potential moral mature human being that we could be. We begin to embody the characteristics of the corrupt culture around us. In the Pinocchio story, Pinocchio grew ears, a long nose and a donkey tail; on his way to becoming a full-fledged donkey that could no longer speak but simply bray.

In a very real sense, as we live our lives, we start to take on the characteristics of the human moral equivalent of Jackasses. The more Jackass potential we embody, the less ability we have to speak up from a position of authority and maturity. The more Jackass potential we embody, the less ability we have to make a positive moral impact in the world. The more Jackass potential we embody, the more we suffer personally and potentially increase the suffering of the network of people around us. The more Jackass potential we embody, the words we utter have the limited moral impact of a braying animal.

Human beings don’t grow donkey ears or a tail, nor does our nose grow longer each time we lie, so how do we know if we are on the way to becoming a full-fledged Jackass of a human being? It’s measured by suffering.

Existence as a human being, by definition, is NOT an easy journey. It’s not a walk in the park. But does mean that suffering or existential angst is the default mode that we have to abide with without escape?

There are no pills, foods, etc. that guarantee a path out of suffering. Unearned peace of mind is no peace of mind.

The path out of suffering is counterintuitive; in other words, it seems to go against what you would normally think. The path out of suffering is narrow and somewhat painful. The path out of suffering requires one to carefully, painstakingly examine every emotionally charged episode that is older than about 18 months of age. If an emotionally charged memory of an episode or event continues to haunt you over time, it means that you failed to deal with it properly and completely. It is still negatively impacting your life. You must carefully go through your life decade by decade and make a written list of what sticks out. Once you start sincerely asking yourself for instances of moral failings or traumatizing events, your mind will gladly suffice by bringing these instances readily to mind. It’s helpful to write short stories about each one of these events so you can get your facts straight, and be as honest as you possibly can. Resist the temptation to whitewash these episodes as you carefully write down the details. It’s important to look at them in painstaking detail.

The writing process itself is useful in helping to bring to mind things you could do to avoid repeating each error in the future.

The continuing portion of the path out of suffering is to find some meaningful activity. Find concrete things that stick out to you that give your existence meaning. If you find yourself engaged in some sort of activity where the sense of passing time seems to disappear, that’s a good place to start. You need something that you find worthwhile to aim at.

This doesn’t mean to suggest that life is all sweetness and roses. Oftentimes the choices in front of us all seem bad. Make a choice anyway. Volunteering to do something difficult is not the same thing as having something forced on you. Carrying a heavy burden voluntarily can be quite satisfying, as long it was your choice and wasn’t forced on you.

These aren’t simply pretty sounding words – they are technically true. From a physiological standpoint, if you are involuntarily forced to take on a task, it has a measurable negative impact on your body and some instances can even cause measurable brain damage. On the other hand, if you take on the same task voluntarily, no damage occurs. Just let that hit you for a moment. You could have two bad choices before you, and thinking it through you choose one of those paths and voluntarily take it on with an aim, not only will it not damage you but you can actually find it meaningful. It must be combined with proper aim, which also requires that you take a good look at yourself and what you really want and can realistically achieve if you put serious effort into it.